Anxiety, trust, trauma, and relationships

Are you having trouble building or sustaining healthy romantic relationships? Do you repeat old patterns that sabotage your relationships? Many times experiences in our past give us a lens for how we see things in the present that are inaccuarte. Until we understand our past story and how it has formed us, we can not move forward in a healthy, self aware, and loving way.

Key points

Are you a relationship recidivist? Therapy can help you understand why

If you find yourself repeating mistakes that you made in previous relationships, you are a relationship recidivist. It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result. In therapy, we will guide you in understanding why you keep repeating those patterns and help form new ones.

Anxiety, trust, trauma, and relationships

Anxiety tends to make it more difficult to respond effectively to our partners. If you struggle with anxiety, you are more likely to take offense and respond impulsively. The net effect will be more friction and conflict in your relationship.

If you have been in a dishonest, abusive, or violent relationship in the past, you are more likely to lack trust in your partner. The experience of trauma makes it more difficult to develop trust, and lack of trust can become self-fulfilling. If you’re always on the edge, anticipating that your partner is going to betray you or take advantage of you, your relationships are in trouble before they even begin.

If you have been hurt in the past, you are more likely to push away the people that you most care about – and who most care about you. Early trauma makes us fear being harmed again or abandoned. This trauma can show up in your relationships as fear of commitment, subconsciously pressuring your partner to leave you, or demanding constant reassurance from your partner. Being in a relationship where your partner always needs to be proving themselves can be tiring and exhausting.

Understanding your attachment style can be important to understanding how you will relate to a partner in relationship. Therapy can help you identify your attachment style and help you grow in a more secure way with the people in your life.

How therapy can help you build meaningful, supportive relationships

In therapy, we will explore what patterns from your past that have sabotaged your relationships, and do the deep work necessary to understand what drives those patterns. We will also work on specific skills that help you respond to triggers, become a better listener, and better communicate your needs.

Therapy can help you address difficult childhood experiences, anxiety, or trauma from previous relationships that make it difficult for you to choose partners that are right for you. In therapy, we can go deep to explore, understand, and address the root causes that interfere with dating, successful marriage, or long-term relationships.